Sundays are my favorite day of the week, but not this Sunday, July 14. Early this morning I learned that my Uncle Bill had died on Saturday in a tragic car accident in New Jersey.
This is one of those times where words feel woefully inadequate. This is one of those times where the best hope for finding solace is in the comfort of happy memories.
Fortunately, when it comes to my Uncle Bill, there are many of those and I want to share just a few of my own.
To give you a sense of the type of guy my Uncle Bill was, consider this: I was living in California in 1996 and was out listening to music with some friends. I started talking to this woman, Ami. In addition to sharing a name, we realized pretty quickly that we were both East Coasters and both recent college graduates. Despite our East Coast connection, Ami was pretty certain that I would never have heard of her small college in Pennsylvania. It was called Lafayette. But of course I knew Lafayette College! "My Uncle Bill is the lacrosse coach and diving coach there," I told her. "Coach Lawson is your Uncle?!" she said. She told me she did not know him personally but, well, "Everyone knows Coach Lawson!" From that moment forward, Ami and I were bonded and she is one of my dearest friends today. And, though it did not surprise me, I will never forget Ami sharing about my Uncle's reputation on campus and feeling so proud to be related to him.
Having grown up in Massachusetts, we would travel to Pennsylvania to visit my Aunt Peggy, Uncle Bill and cousins, Christine and Glenn. I loved going to Pennsylvania because it always meant that we would get to swim at the Lafayette College pool, which was such a cool thing to a young kid, especially when your Uncle has the key to the swimming pool and can take you there at any time. I somehow imagine that in our modern age that this would somehow be frowned upon as some sort of liability, but it was the 70s and frankly it is one of my most favorite childhood memories.
Uncle Bill did have some rules at the pool, one of which I will never forget! If you climbed up the ladder of the three-meter diving board, the only way down was to jump into the diving well! No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Climb up, jump (or dive) down. I remember the terrifying occasion where I learned about that rule as my cousin Glenn started climbing up the stairs after I decided that maybe I did not really want to jump. I learned an important lesson that day too: don't look down, just jump! And trust me, three meters may not seem high, but to a little kid with an orange bubble strapped around her waist, it felt like being on a mountain top! But I did it and my Uncle Bill cheered me on. And eventually the high dive became one of the things I loved about visits to the Lafayette pool.
I must admit, I credit my Uncle Bill in part for my love of the water and my becoming a competitive swimmer. One summer my cousin Margaret and I had the chance to stay with my Aunt Peggy and Uncle Bill and work as assistants at the swim camp at Lafayette. It was the early 80s and we had a great time helping out with the swim lessons and listening to Corey Hart's "Sunglasses at Night" on 45 in the den over and over again. I think that after that summer I became much more serious about swimming and it eventually became my only sport--having nothing to do with Corey Hart and much more to do with my Uncle's influence.
Another thing I loved about my Uncle was that he smoked a pipe. I don't know why, but I loved the aroma of the tobacco! Crazy as that may seem, the tobacco had this sweet smell and though I cannot name it, it is a smell that I have never forgotten and one that will always remind me of my Uncle Bill. I remember him sitting in the den after dinner in his chair with his pipe. I did not know it at the time, but I think that one of the things I loved about it was the ritual of it. I admit that I have walked into a local tobacco shop in downtown Portland before just to find that smell.
Uncle Bill was easy to love. He was hilarious. He always had a joke or a funny story to tell. I believe that the ability to make people laugh is one of the greatest gifts one can give. And with Uncle Bill present, laughter was always guaranteed.
But he was also engaging--it was not just about small talk or chit chat. He really cared about you. He would always ask questions about your life; he really listened and he was always genuinely enthusiastic to hear about whatever was happening with you. He had a knack for making you feel like whatever you were saying was important--and to him it was. That is a skill that many of us do not possess, but Uncle Bill did.
Uncle Bill was one of the most positive people that I have even known. He radiated a love for life along with a peaceful contentment that many of us can barely imagine, let alone live. And it is nearly impossible for me to remember a time when he did not have a smile on his face. And, he was extremely humble. In a lovely dedication posted yesterday on Lafayette College Athletics' web site, it read that "he was one of the most well-respected lacrosse coaches in the nation." Again, not a surprise but certainly not something that you would catch him bragging about, regardless of the fact that it was very true.
I am sure that his positivity is part of what made him such an excellent coach for so many years. Uncle Bill had a 37-year career of coaching at Lafayette and continued to serve as a coach in a volunteer capacity. He was the 1991 Patriot League Coach of the Year and is the winningest men's lacrosse coach in Lafayette's history. He was named the Patriot League Diving Coach of the Year in 1999-2000, and he was inducted into the Pennsylvania Lacrosse Hall of Fame in 2002. In 2001, Uncle Bill was one of a select few who coached at the U.S. National Team tryouts for the 2002 International Lacrosse Federation World Championships. In 2000, he was selected as the recipient of the United States Intercollegiate Lacrosse Association's "Howdy Myers Man of the Year Award"--an annual award presented to the person who has "contributed to the game of lacrosse in a capacity over and above the normal efforts and has shown unselfish and undying devotion."
Unselfish indeed. I cannot think of a better way to remember my Uncle and his contributions as a husband, father, grandfather, uncle, coach, mentor, colleague, and friend. He spent his life doing what he loved, surrounded by people who he loved, in a place that he loved. He was an angel on earth who we were lucky to have the opportunity to know. He will be dearly missed and so fondly remembered.
Thank you for sharing your life with so many of us and for lighting up the world with your smiles, you laughter, and your spirit.
Rest peacefully, Uncle Bill. You are loved.
